Names

Why are names so important? if you think about it, it is just a word, like table or dog but for some reason if your parents shove some letters together and apply it to you it becomes sacred. to be honest names are little more than letters these days, you hear of people called cherry, oak and apple, no offence meant but those aren't names, they are types of tree.
we have nicknames, names that only certain people can call us, middle names (i mean wtf why do you need more than one), pet names, rude names, and surnames but these are really what sum us up. when i asked someone to describe me once the answer i recieved was "you are just hutty", great, that's not even my real name but that is the description they could give of me. people change their names, guy in our year now called freddy "because he looks like a freddy, not a harry", how can you look like a name? your name is you so you can't look like anyone else's name surely.
i have heard all sorts of odd quotes about names one person said "i wish my girlfriend didn't call me by my nickname, everyone at school does and its just not special, i would rather for her to call me by my real name." so does what someone calls you really affect your relationship with them? apparently so, she didn't get the message and they split up a short while later. i too am guilty of it, here is a conversation i had with some woman i had been working with for a WEEK!
her: oh come help me with this will you errr whatever your name is
me: me name is james, remember it please, i have remembered yours
her: oh well, whatever you name is, its not important
me: yes it is, its important, its my name, remember it

but why on earth did i reply like this, apart from the obvious that she was a rude cow who i was dying to have a go at, i said my name was important, but why? hardly anybody even calls me by my real name anymore (see in a min), so surely it can't be that important, i don't tell people to remember my name when they call me hutty. and the answer i want is: is your name important to you? and if so why? what's so special about it?

but anyway, enough of asking other people and talking about other people's views on names, its back to my usual, self-centred, problem orientated blog. and you know what, i don't care, because this is my blog and it belongs to :hutty, james, jim bob as 1 person calls me, whatever your name is (according to that cow), james william hutt and i haven't even started with what my dad calls me. so iif i want to be self centred then i will be.
anyway
for the last 8 years of my life i have been hutty, to almost everyone, james to my family (because they are all called hutt) and james on holiday because i have never been able to face the conversation "hi whats your name... hutty... what did you say?" it is so much easier to say "hi whats your name... james... oh hi james, i am amelia"
i don't even remember when i first began being called hutty, mates and teachers both called me it, but then at age 11, going into BMS here was the chance to reinvent myself, new name, nope, i introduced myself to everyone as hutty. fine, i have been happy as hutty for the last 3 1/2 years but recently i have been thinking. i am not so sure if i want to be "hutty" anymore, it took me ages to pin-point what had recently changed that made me want to change something as drastic as my name, and i think, but i am not sure, that it is to do with my certainty about the world in general (see last post), but thats just silly, i don't feel particularly like a james, but i doon't feel like a hutty either.
a few other people have tried to change from their nicknames to their first names with almost complete, total and utter failure, (hi jack and michael if you are reading).
so why should i bother? wouldn't it weird people out or confuse them when randomly you want them to stop calling you one thing and start calling you another, it did that to me slightly.
a few of my mates started calling me james just to see how i felt, but it didn't seem natural because i knew they were doing it because of our conversation the night before, (changed my msn screen name to include james btw, did any1 notice?).
so i have actually decided, i don't care what you call me as long as its not offensive, or stupid, or derogatory, or annoying, or childish. ok ok i do care what you call me but i don't care whether its hutty or james, i have decided to be both for now.
but if you have read my previous blog, you will know, that i will probably feel differently in the morning

thanks for reading, more self-obsessed problems with my life where i might refer to someone else briefly if i get bored tomorrow :)

james

p.s. just want to say thanks to 2 very close friends of mine who wrote a list of 30 top tips for men, todays post was meant to be light hearted, taking the piss, title "why those 30 top tips for men prove that women are unreasonable", but i couldn't do it. a few of them were a bit silly from my point of view but on the whole those 2 were talking sense, and i think lots of people should pay attention to it:), thanks jazz and ellen :)